


Doesn't Change Me and You

by marlikestoread



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Fluff, I hate tagging, M/M, This is Selfish of me, for all we know they could be fuck buddies, im sorry, its sort of Ziam if you squint real hard, lima bean is a saint, mention of larry but it is not an 'established relationship' technically, this is so untrue, zayn's semi sucidal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 16:31:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4443539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marlikestoread/pseuds/marlikestoread
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam doesn't expect her name to flash across his screen. He's never particularly liked Perrie, she's always been over controlling and rude to everyone including Zayn. </p><p>"Perrie?" he answers in confusion.</p><p>"Thank god Liam-no one else was picking up!"</p><p>"What?" Liam hears the desperation in her voice.</p><p>"I cheated on him," Perrie sounds hysterical, "and he's probably… Liam he tweeted that he'd lost everything and that he's hopefully going to drink himself to death. He needs you."</p><p>Or where Perrie and Zayn bullshitted the world and the real reason Zayn left the band is because Perrie pushed him out. Then a few months later cheats on him leaving Zayn in ruins and close to suicidal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doesn't Change Me and You

**Author's Note:**

> A.N. Perrie is probably a wonderful girl and she has doen't nothing to show me otherwise I doubt this is what she's liek in real life and I doubt she's the sole reason Zayn left.   
> P.S.  
> This changes nothing about my thoughts on Ziam they are my OTP right along Larry  
> P.P.S. Nothing makes sense anymore does it?

When asked by the paparazzi if Perrie was the reason he left, he'd deny it. Even though everything inside his brain was screaming to just tell them the fucking truth. To tell them that he loved Perrie with every inch of his body. And even though Perrie agreed the cheating rumors were false (the big 'proof' picture was actually a picture Perrie took but her phone got hacked) he still felt bad because the pressure just sucks. He knew she was struggling with him because if anything One Directions schedule was ten times more busy than Little Mixes. 

It was Perrie's idea for him to quit and she'd pushed it months before hand, and when he finally decided that 'yes he needed to leave because he loved Perrie enough to give up everything else and just be with her'. The boys were livid for the week that he was forced to stay until Management would let him return back to London no one would look or speak to him except occasionally Niall.

It made him sick to his stomach because these were his brothers his best friends and he had a million doubts in his mind about all of this. It made him feel worthless being ignored.

It sort of got better once he finally left he saw his family and he saw Perrie. But suddenly she was off too suddenly too busy for Zayn and Zayn sort of wondered if eh disserved that because of all the cheating rumors. But she wouldn't even answer his phone calls anymore, Zayn always answered his phone calls even if he was having a blast with the boys or eating. 

To fill the void he started hanging out with Naughty Boy before whom he didn't even particularly like, the whole friendship was set through Modest. But he needed the void to be filled otherwise he didn't know what to do. Suddenly music was leaked and he got an angry text from Harry of all people after not hearing from him in forever suddenly Harry's scolding him about being unprofessional. Zayn deletes the message without replying.

Louis and Naughty boy get into a Twitter War, and after months of not talking to each other this is how Louis managed to worm his way back into Zayn's life and he manages to type a rude response back without much of a though of how hurtful he was being.

He doesn't talk to the other boys for months.

He gets frustrated with Naughty boy again, after he leaked even more of Zayn's music and he finds himself calling the man a 'fat joke' and telling him to stop pretending to be Zayn's friend. It's the best he's felt in months.

The fifth anniversary of One Direction comes up, Liam thanks him over twitter Zayn thanks him back.

IT was a start.

Perrie was home again and he was heading to her flat ready to surprise her with flowers and dinner, he unlocked the door only to find his girl-the love of his life tangled with another man and Zayn feels like he's drowning. He drops the flowers and hears Perrie yelling his name. He doesn't even remember getting to his flat or going straight for the liquor cabinet. 

He's well past drunk when he goes on Twitter and drunkly types, 'I've lost everything hopefully going to drink myself to death'  
\---  
Liam doesn't expect her name to flash across his screen. He's never particularly liked Perrie, she's always been over controlling and rude to everyone including Zayn. 

"Perrie?" he answers in confusion.

"Thank god Liam-no one else was picking up!"

"What?" Liam hears the desperation in her voice.

"I cheated on him," Perrie sounds hysterical, "and he's probably… Liam he tweeted that he'd lost everything and that he's hopefully going to drink himself to death. He needs you."

Liam doesn't respond he only hangs up the phone and grabs his jacket practically running out the door he dials Louis's number before he gets into the car, "This better be fucking good Payno, you just interrupted some kinky hot shit that I'd really like to get back too."

Gross. He reminds himself to talk to Louis about not being so open with his sex life with Harry.

"Zayn just tweeted that he wants to drink himself to death," Liam says simply.

"What?" 

"Perrie cheated on him," Liam explains, "Just get to his flat-and can you call Niall for me?"

"Yeah…yeah okay," Louis sounds dazed.

It doesn't surprise Liam that Louis and Harry get there first because they lived closer to Zayn. Niall ends up driving up the same time as Liam looking scared and wide eyed and two years younger.

"He's not letting us through the door," Harry explains as Liam approaches, "Louis through away our keys to the house after…"

"I have mine," Liam states calmly. He's thought about throwing his own away but he just couldn't come to, it would mean that he'd be elimating Zayn completely out of his life and that'd just be… unimaginable.

They were expecting he worse heading inside, but the fact was Zayn was beyond the worse. He looked up dazed from where he was sitting on the couch all kinds of alcohol bottles around him.

"Li?" he mumbles out there's tears in his eyes and tear tracks on his face and he just looks so dead inside, "I'm hallucinating."

"Nope," Louis says, "We're fucking here, now put down the bottle."

Zayn goes to take another chug but Harry's quicker and grabs the bottle out of his hand, he reaches out like some kind of child who just got there favorite stuffed animal taken away, "Nooo-want it to end."

"Fuck," Niall murmurs, "I need a minute."

Liam nods watching out of the corner of his eye as Niall enters the bathroom.

"Zayn," Louis's voice is calm and he moves around Harry who's picking up the rest of the alcohol to sit besides Zayn, "Please tell me that doesn't mean what I think it means."

"I mean," Zayn slurs, "That if you don't give me that fucking bottle back right now I'll just jump off my balcony."

"No…no," Liam murmurs, "You can't do that Zayn."

"Why not…No one can love me I'm unlovable. Perrie-I left for Perrie and she just-" suddenly he's gasping and sobbing and throwing himself into Liam's arms even though Louis was closer. He stumbles and sags against Liam letting out gut wrenching sobs. Liam wraps his arms around Zayn.

"No…Zayn I love you okay. Your loveable, I love you."

"We love you Zayn," Harry agrees.

"Love you," Louis finishes, "Even when you hurt me, I'll always love you."

"Niall?" Zayn asks pitifully, "He left doesn-"

"Does love you," Liam didn't see Niall return to his room he hugs Zayn from behind, "Just needed a moment. Love you always."

"Okay," Zayn mumbles his sobs turning into sniffles and Liam finds himself carefully lifting the smaller boy up and bringing him to his bedroom, "Love you all too."

Liam carefully lays Zayn down in his bed and goes to leave the room and let Zayn rest but Zayn suddenly clutches onto Liam's shirt, "Stay…please stay don't go away."

He's crying again, "Shhh..shh," Liam hushes climbing in besides him on the big bed, "I'm right here."

Zayn wiggles his way in so that he's laying practically on top of Liam and Liam watches the other three boys tentively walk in and he motions them to all come into the bed. They do (barely fitting) but they do it because they know Zayn is broken and maybe if they squeeze him tight enough he might just fall back together.

\---  
Zayn wakes up in somebody's arms and with a massive hangover, probably the worst he's ever had. Someone's just simply rubbing his temples and it helps a little bit.

Zayn's eyes blink open and he see's Liam awake carefully looking down at him.

It doesn't take a lot to remember. You'd think because he drank so much it'd just be a blackout. He remembers every bit of it, every moment where Liam held him until he fells asleep and the other lads piled around him protecting him.

"Zayn?"

"I'm sorry," Zayn says feeling tears well up again he was just so goddamn weak, "I'm sorry."

"Shh," Liam says, "We forgive you for being a dick and being in love."

"I missed you all so much," Zayn chokes out, "So…so much."

"I know," Liam says, "Missed you too."

"You did?" Zayn mumbles.

"Of course I did," Liam sounds a little annoyed that Zayn ever thought otherwise, "Your my best mate."

They lay there for awhile and the others come in with food and medicine and they just start hanging out like old times sitting around eating junk food. Things fall into place and the awkwardness that Zayn expected never came. Harry and Louis were still obnoxiously completely and still in there honeymoon stage. Niall still ate as if he had three stomachs. Liam was still kind and still had that smile where his eyes would get crinkly.

The only times things got just a little bit somber and they were reminded that things weren’t normal is when Louis states, "You can come back Zayn, you know that right? Your always welcome."

"Yeah," Zayn mumbles, "I…I think I just need to remind myself who I am. I was so caught up with Perrie I couldn’t even think for myself anymore. Feels like I'm nothing without her."

"Okay," Niall says, "We respect that, encourage it actually. You really were a mess last night."

Zayn hums in agreement looking out his window for a moment, "But…we can still be the same. I can visit on tour, not like I'm not still rich. And we can text n' stuff. And me staying away from One Direction wont be permant…don't think I can ever stay away."

"Yeah," Liam grins, "Offer of you returning will always be open. We'll even fight tooth and nail with modest to just save you a spot."

Zayn nods, "Really love you guys."

They all grin at each other before going into a group embrace and for the first time in months everyone in that room felt complete.

**Author's Note:**

> well either it was crap or it wasn't.  
> not for me to decide.


End file.
